The woman…gave me of the tree: In this verse, we see all that is wrong with communication, relationships, and so forth; problems that have existed since sin entered into the world. Consider the following problems, and how to solve them..
First, love, without God as the centerpiece, is fleeting. His wife was bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh, just a few short hours to a couple days earlier. To use a modern term, Adam was quick to “throw her under the bus,” when in fact he had just gotten done saying how she completed him perfectly. Adam, in blaming Eve, chose to forget his undying love for Eve in that moment, simply because it was convenient. The terrible evil of convenience causes so many other lusts today, as there is so much opportunity for sin. However, it has always been a problem. People choose the easy way out rather than sitting down and talking with each other.
The sat part is that this was doable. Adam and Eve had hidden together. And yet, it appears that they took no thought to consider just what had been done. They focused entirely on themselves, instead of on confessing their sins and forsaking them.
What should people do, instead of playing the blame game? Not only admitting their faults, but forsaking them. There are times when one side is totally innocent. The builty party must accept that when it happens. Such was not the case here. When both have messed up, they must be willing to confess to each other, and not put the self above the relationship. Remember the New Testament command to always esteem others better than yourself. (Philippiand 2:3) This is a command, it is necessary for parents, spouses, children, friends, employees and employers, everyone.
How does one do this? By putting on Christ; by making sure that we recognize that we are not perfect, and never can be. By always being ready to realize we can improve, we will recognize better those times when we must. It is up to each of us to take the lead in being humble. God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. (1 Pet 5:5)
Speaking of that necessary leadership, Adam’s actions and words show an incredible lack of it. First, he displayed a lack of leadership in allowing himself to be tempted. But, then he showed further lack of it when he refused to admit he was wrong.
As noted, the family was set up so God could bring order out of chaos. It is, of course, possible for someone else to take the lead when the man is absent physically, mentally, or both. The Shunammite woman in 2 Kings 4 is a prefect example. However, that leader must display the same humility that the man is supposed to display as the head of the home. Humility includes doing what’s right and quickly accepting responsibility for what is wrong, and working to make it right.
That lack of leadership shows today, too. It shows in the character of everyone who refuses to lead by example. It shows in the character of all who shirk responsibility to follow the ways of sin. And, it has been a problem since sin entered the world.
The way to correct it is to stand firm on Godly principles. This doesn’t mean to be legalist. This means to show meekness, goodness, gentleness, and all the other fruits of the Spirit. It means, first, that one must have a relationship with Jesus Christ, so he can be the true leader. Then, the person will have a firm foundation on which to build a life, a family, and everything else. A place must be found for compromise and acceptance of others if it doesn’t go against Godly principals. But, that is part of being humble, and recognizing that not everyone is the same as the leader. We all have different needs. We all have different interests and concerns.
Our number one concern should be advancing the cause of Christ, though. It’s sad that working together for a cause – even an evil cause – can bring people together. Pilate and Herod, who had hated each other, suddenly became friends after going through the trial of Jesus, in fact. (Luke 23:12) However, when confronted with one’s own faults, many people too often blame only others, without looking at their own shortcomings.
They not only blame others, they blame God at times, too. Adam specifically says this is the woman that He had given him. As if there isn’t enough blame to go around, he figures on multiplying it.
That’s the problem with blame. It multiplies so easily, which leads to more bad feelings, which leads to more blame, and so on. On the other hand, when a problem is corrected right away, with a person accepting his or her role in things and apologizing when needed, suddenly the blaming stops. There’s no place for the fire to spread when good communication has snuffed out the flame.
