The first indication of this focus on self, not on God is that Cain knew (that is, knew carnally, in this case had a child with) his wife.
As noted elsewhere, Genesis 5:4 shows Cain married a sister. This could be done because there wasn’t the problem with inbreeding yet, as the gene pools were still huge, and not narrowed down like they would be. It could have happened right then or later. Indeed, they could have married before Cain killed Abel. We are not told.
However, even if Cain’s murder of Abel occurred after they married, this is the first instance where we must ask, “What could she have seen in that guy?” Forget the lack of social taboos and lack of problems with inbreeding, since the world was so young. He had walked away from God’s mercy and grace before he murdered her brother, Abel. He wouldn’t listen to God’s call to return.
Look back to our discussions of ideal relationships. The ideal relationship is one where the man is the spiritual leader, but there is unity between the two otherwise. One side doesn’t overpower the other. Instead, each side lovingly gives of himself or herself to please the other. Cain’s wife could - and should - have refused to have anything to do with a man who wouldn’t follow the Lord. If they were unequally yoked, she should have been willing to follow the Lord anyway.
We saw in Gen. 3:16 how a woman’s desire would be to her husband. This is compounded by the man being - in many cases - more physically and emotionally powerful. This is one of the major problems with relationships to this day. They’re not equal in the ways they should be. Yes, women look to men for protection at times, and sometimes, past problems demand it. Every situation is different. However, women should avoid any situation where a man can totally dominate them, unless they are very frail, and that man is so totally loving and devoted they would never take unfair advantage of this. United States President McKinley, for instance, may have been such a figure, given his wife’s epilepsy and his care for her at a time when such a condition wasn’t accepted. He protected her from much ridicule, and loved her unconditionally.
Cain, of course, was the exact opposite. Whether it was his domineering nature, or whether she became so smitten by him she couldn’t think straight, they married, and had a son. He received the same name as a later son in Adam’s line up to Noah. There is an amazing contrast between a man about whom almost nothing is known, and the later man, in Adam’s line, who walked so wonderfully with God.
Eve, on the other hand, declared immediately after giving birth that she had gotten a man from the Lord – she acknowledged God in it.
Cain didn’t honor God in having a son. The name didn’t even reveal anything of God’s nature. He named it after his son. It’s as if he was saying, “I had this child, I will build a city to show my greatness.” Cain was puffed up with pride, just as the devil had been.
Certainly, there are times in life when we name things after others. We give gifts in memory of loved ones. But, the point is, we should never allow that to overshadow God’s work. Yes, a foundation to honor the memory of someone is wonderful. A house that bears someone’s name is fine. But, these things must be done with the reminder that, “This is named after ‘x,’ a person greatly used by God for a purpose.” Even if that purpose is dying young so that others might be moved to fight a certain cause, something God can certainly use for His glory.
Cain was already out from the presence of the Lord, though, as explained earlier. He had no use for God in his life. He wouldn’t consider God’s role in his city.
